That's it. I'm done. Nope. These Valentine's Dates are over. Nope. Not doing it. I've been attacked by gnomes, emotionally scarred by demon dolls, and almost impregnated by horny mini leopards. If you're expecting me to throw myself at another woman Quinn has set me up with, it's not happening. Switchblade's days of allowing Quinn to fuck with him are over. My apologies to the other two girls who bid on me, but I'm over it. I need satisfaction and gratification. I need some sex where I don't come out looking like a fucking psychotic weirdo. So, yeah. This story, my sexy Sweet Butts, won't involve any of the crazy shit the other three did because Quinn isn't going to get involved, are you Quinn?
*She promised to be nice. But do I believe her... nope. I'm sleeping with one eye open, Sweet Butts. I know she's out there somewhere, watching me, rubbing her hands together like the super villain she is.*
"You look distraught, my friend," Scythe said, when he found me lost in thought and absentmindedly sipping on my beer. He slid into the stool next to me, as Obi and Riptide took the other two stools at the bar.
"It's been a rough week."
"I heard," Scythe said, trying to stifle a laugh.
"Fuck it, go ahead. Laugh it up. You know you want to."
All three of the bastards started laughing their heads off, making me feel even smaller than I already felt.
"You done, yet?"
Scythe stopped laughing, keeping the best straight face someone could after his big, badass, VP got dry humped by a fancy, exotic cat. "I don't know what to tell you, Brother, besides get up off your sad, sorry ass and try again."
I felt kind of bad, Sweet Butts, I'm not gonna lie. The other two chicks won me fair and square and would never get Switched. But I had to ghost them. There was something about Quinn taking control of my fuck life that had me gun shy. So, I had to do what was best for Switchy... find my own pussy.
And find it I did, when a sexy as fuck brunette wandered into the club's bar and stared at us like she just saw a ghost. She took a deep breath, walked up to the bar, waved Faith over and ordered herself a tea. A fucking tea!
Yeah, this little lamb was definitely my next meal, Sweet Butts, and Quinn fucking couldn't do anything about it. I made eye contact, undressing every delectable inch of her body with my x-ray vision. Her cheeks warmed just as Scythe slapped my back.
"See, Switchblade, it's like the Pussy God has spoken, he's handing you a gift."
I polished off the last of my beer, wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand and took in a deep breath. "Watch out, boys, this is how a real man reels them in."
I marched over to the little vixen at the other end of the bar. She eyed me curiously, staring up at me with intrigued but frightened eyes.
"Hey there, Sweetheart, you get lost?"
She squeaked, it was cute, but what wasn't cute was her walking to the opposite end of the bar, hiding herself away in a booth without saying a word. My brothers immediately started laughing over her blatant brush off. This was an off week for me, but I wasn't giving up without a fight, Sweet Butts. Nope, not this biker.
I waited for her outside, standing by my bike as the cute little vixen walked out of the bar and toward her car, immediately noticing her flat tire.
"Fuck!" she growled.
"Hey, Baby Girl, do you need a ride?" I asked with a smirk. Yeah, I may have popped a hole in her tire, okay maybe another one in her back tire, too, for good measure. I wasn't about to let her get away from me. I was letting my cock lead the way, Sweet Butts. It was like I had GPS programmed into my dick and all I had to do was punch a few holes and it led me straight to pussy every time.
"I don't take rides from strangers."
Was that an accent I detected? British maybe?
"The name's Switchblade, I'm VP of the Devil's Armada MC, and I'm offering you a ride, no strings. What do you say, now that we're not strangers anymore?"
She looked at me for a few good minutes, before fishing out her phone.
"We have a shop, they can fix your flats in the morning."
She stopped searching for whatever she was looking for and threw her phone back in her purse. "Oh, Bollocks, why not? My day is complete shite, anyway."
She stomped over to me, ripped the helmet away from me that I was handing to her and climbed onto the bike behind me, shouting her address to me before she put the helmet on.
It didn't take me long to get to her apartment. It was a few miles from the clubhouse and we got there in record time.
"Much thanks, Switchblade, you can go now."
"You know, I'm very thirsty... Ms., ... well, I guess, I didn't get your name."
"Name's aren't important when you don't plan on seeing someone again."
Ouch that one hurt. "Sweetheart, don't you realize that Thursdays are more fun when you have a Switchblade to entertain you." I cleared my throat. "Oh, man, I'm really, really thirsty."
"I think the groundskeeper keeps a hose around back. I've seen him let the stray dogs in the neighborhood drink from it. You seem like they type of guy who would fit right in with a pack of stray dogs."
THIS! This right here is what I was waiting for, Sweet Butts. A girl that wasn't afraid to call me on my shit. She has me officially on my toes.
"Look, Baby. I know I may look like a dog, but I've had a really shitty week. I've been through hell and back and I just need some release. I'm not asking for anything besides, a glass of water, some good conversation, and maybe a twirl around the bedposts."
She laughed. "Well, you don't beat around the bush, do you?" I loved her accent, it drove my cock crazy.
"I'm not the kind of girl who just lets random bikers up to my bedroom, but you seem a little lost, Switchy, maybe a little water will help clear your mind." She handed me my helmet back and motioned for me to follow her inside.
Before I crossed her threshold, I noticed her single potted plant outside her door, and the lack of gnomes in it that made my heart skip a beat.
No ass crackin' gnomes. Check!
We're already doing good, Sweet Butts. See, this is what happens when Quinn doesn't get involved, things go swimmingly.
I stepped into her foray, my eyes instantly scanning for anything crazy to happen. But nothing did. There I was, just standing there with a beautiful woman who wasn't out to get me. It was perfect. Too perfect...
Yeah, I know what you're all thinking... things are going way to good right now. That's what I thought, too. That's why I immediately started looking around, searching for something that was going to jump out and try to kill me.
"Um, what are you doing?" The woman asked.
"Looking for demon dolls and horny cats. I already checked for gnomes, didn't see any. We're good in the gnome department."
"Excuse me?"
"Never mind... you wouldn't understand."
Her stare was so judgmental--so frightened. Yeah, I was being a fucking mental patient right now and losing my chance to get pussy.
Snap the fuck out of it Switch, and be a man.
So, I stopped being a crazy motherfucker because I was flipping out for no reason, this woman was perfect. Everything was perfect... too perfect, but I had to look past that, Sweet Butts. I had to play it cool. So, I did something I normally didn't do. I talked to her. We talked for a few hours over my glass of water and her cup of tea. It was nice just to have an honest conversation with someone without fearing for my life, and when we were done, she rose to her feet and motioned for me to follow her.
It was happening, finally.
I was gonna get some pussy and not have it end up all crazy.
She opened the door to one of her back rooms, and then it happened. That moment I had been hoping wouldn't come because it wasn't just a room, it was a sex dungeon. Much like the one Kage had me in at the sex club.
I shit you not, my heart started to race.
"She's here," I whispered. "I fucking knew it."
"What?" The British girl asked in strange fascination.
"Quinn. She put you up to this, didn't she?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Are you daft? Have you gone mad?"
I stalked into the room stopping near one of the walls to grab a paddle. I started smacking it against my hand, waiting for her to jump out and strike. She was here, I could feel it in my bones. She probably got some sick pleasure out of driving me absolutely insane.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are, Quinny. I know you're here. Watching us... you're always watching me."
I started checking all the closets, every fucking drawer. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had to be here. That fucking author planned this shit. I was so busy waiting for danger that I didn't even notice the girl walking up to me until her fucking hand cracked across my face, bringing me back to the real world.
Yes, she fucking slapped me. And yes, I loved it.
"Listen up, Chap. I don't bring fucking men back here often. So, consider yourself special. We had a nice chat over some water and a cup of tea, but if you start going all Jerry Maguire on me, I'm out. Now snap out of whatever fucked up head shite you got going on. Take off your damn clothes and fuck me."
Fuck was the magic word, Sweet Butts. Fuck had my attention back to the mission at hand. I immediately started undressing, trying to push the thought of Quinn having her evil paws in this perfect skin-to-skin union.
My cut came off and was laid on the dresser just before I tugged off my shirt and pants, and pulled down my boxers.
And there I stood, buck ass naked, the British chick checking out every damn inch of my God-like muscles, nibbling on her plump lip as my cock greeted her.
"This is the part where you get naked, too," I encouraged.
She took off her top, showing off the black pasties she had covering her full tits. She didn't need tassels or anything fancy, she just had giant black stars covering her nipples, stars that matched her panties that came off in one pull. This is one time I didn't need a rose, Sweet Butts. Whoever this chick was, she had all the right components for a perfect little fuck. Tight ass, voluptuous tits. Lips that were fucking begging to be kissed, and damn was that a belly ring. Yeah, this was my kind of chick wrapped up in a pretty British bow.
I grabbed a condom from my jeans pocket and brought it up my length. This time I looked down. I wasn't going to be surprised again. Black... like Quinn's soul. Fucking perfect. Serves that bitch right for fucking with me all the times she has. I was gonna give Ms. UK the spin of her life, stroking in and out of her with my midnight cock of doom.
This chick didn't comment on my colored condom. This chick didn't give a shit what color my cock was, all she wanted was sex. And by god, I was going to give it to her.
Our bodies clashed in a furious rage, lips meeting as our tongues slipped around and danced
with each other like pro ice skaters. In that moment, I didn't care what came next, as long as it had to do with my cock entering this amazing girl. We didn't even make it to the bed, our bodies smacked against the wall, her moans vibrating my ear drums as I lifted her off her feet and entered her sweet pussy. Damn did she feel amazing with the way her pussy clenched my cock, giving it the perfect amount of pressure I needed to start rocking her world like the fucking sexy Spice Girl she was. If the Spice Girls had a sixth member, it be her. Perfect Pussy Spice.
Her fingers dug into my shoulders, as my cock rammed her hard and fast, hitting her so deep, that each thrust caused her nails to claw my skin.
"Oh, Fuck," she screamed out. "Fucking Bloody Hell!"
Yeah, that was British for, Switchy is a great fuck, Sweet Butts.
I silenced her dirty mouth with my own, giving her all the tongue I could possibly cram into that sweet mouth of hers. You could hear my thrusts echoing off the walls, the delicious sound of body smacking body as I conquered a Great Britain for the first time.
She started to slip, but I grabbed her hair, angling her head back as I continued taking her without any hesitation.
Without influence. Without any interfering from that fucking Quinn bitch.
She smiled deviously, enjoying the little manhandling I did to her hair. My mouth trailed down her neck, taking a playful bite of her breasts until small indentations of my teeth marked her.
She moaned seductively, incoherent words tumbled off her lips.
"You like this don't you?"
"Yesss," she moaned, "Faster."
The speed and frequency of my thrusts increased, I was going so fast and hard I was starting to see stars, especially when my thumb moved down her front, pressing on her swollen clit and helped her reach the breaking point.
"I'm coming!" she screamed, her pussy clenching me so tight it milked the cum right out of my cock.
That's right, Sweet Butts! Switchy finally came!
It felt like a miracle. A gift from God or something. Somehow I achieved what was starting to feel like the impossible. My guttural growls as I finished in my British Beauty were animalistic and full of content rage. Three days of self-induced blue balls. Three days of the fucking hell Quinn put me through... and I finally came. With no help from her, might I add. I did it all on my own. I hooked this one, reeled her in, and sank into her like the God you all expect me to be.
When I finally realized it was over, that I finally made it through fucking someone without being mauled or impaled by something the emotion hit me. All that pent up frustration was gone. Leaving my body in one gigantic, cleansed but exasperated breath.
I slid her down the wall after I exited her, my breaths coming out in panting gasps.
"That ... that was fucking amazing."
She smirked, her smile doing things to my insides I couldn't explain.
She walked over to her bed and laid down, spreading her legs so I could see every glorious inch of her skin.
"She told me to be nice to you," the girl murmured.
"Huh?"
She laughed. "She said she'd been too mean to you lately, and when you cancelled our date, she felt bad. Told me to throw you a bone and let you bone me."
"What are you talking about? Date? We didn't have a date. You were stranded... you got lost."
The girl pointed to the ceiling, an evil smile forming on her face. "You know who I'm talking about, Switchy. The one who controls your dick. The one who decides whether you get laid or not."
"Are you talking about Quinn?"
She nodded, laughing a little too evilly. "I'm Clare. Date number four. I wasn't about to let you go so easily after I won you fair and square, Switchy. I heard about your other fiascos and felt a little bad for you, so I agreed to Quinn's dastardly plan."
"And what plan was that?" I asked nervously.
She got off the bed and sauntered toward me. Her tits bouncing in those pasties, her body looking like a wet dream waiting to happen. Her tender touch trailed over my bicep, gripping my cock as she slowly began to stroke it.
"The one where she made you feel like you were going crazy. The one that brought you to this point. Oh, and I expect my rose when I pick up my car tomorrow. I'm gonna want something to remember you by. Make it black, just like your cock." She knew about my gas station roses, too? What the fuck was happening?
Ugh... okay... I'm not going to do what you all think I'm going to do and JUST FLIP OUT! Not this time, Sweet Butts. Quinn may have had this ultimate plan to make me look like a fucking Looney Tune, but I wasn't about to let her get me, not after letting me cum in Clare, the British babe. So, I guess the only question now was, who's coming with me next?
"I told her I'd be nice to you, Switchy. The first round. But now that you lived through round one, it's time to play in round two." I felt her hand smack my ass, causing an instant clench of my ass cheeks. They're still tender from the gnome incident. "You think you can handle that?"
"Clare, I've been molested by a cat, violated by a gnome, and almost possessed by a demon doll. I think whatever you want to dish out, I'll be able to take."
"Good," Clare said, walking across the room. "Cause round two involves electrocution." She held up some tiny cables and motioned to my balls.. "And I'm going to attach these to your sack..."
GULP....
I'll let you guys decide what happened next. I'm gonna leave this story on a good note and not one that makes me look like a fucking pansy-ass dweeb.
Haha, didn't see that coming, now did you, Quinn?
Anyways, my Sweet Butts, until tomorrow... let's pray I have a better day.
Always in your dreams.
Switchblade.