You know, I'm really starting to believe that Quinn fucking hates me. I don't know how she lets me get into this shit. Demonic fucking dolls... gnomes stuck up my ass crack, it's like she fucking wants me to suffer. That's why today's story I'll be taking into my own hands. I'm done letting her play with me like her clumsy little puppet. I'm not leaving the safety of the clubhouse for this one. There's no way the next chick can do something crazy to me, if I never leave the club. Before I start off with my Wednesday story, let's do this back story shit again.
Last Friday, I put myself up for auction in Quinn's group the Ride or Diers. There are a lot of horny sweet butts in there that haven't got their shot with me yet and I wanted to give them a little gift leading up to Valentine's Day. I knew I wouldn't be able to choose which sweet butt got their Valentine's Dates with me, so I decided to do it auction style. Lots of ladies entered, but only five lucky ones will be entered by me. (Laughs evilly) Since I don't do the actual day of hearts, flowers, candy and all that lovey dovey garbage. I decided to spread my love in the week leading up to the dreaded day of love. Switchy don't do the sweet stuff, that's for guys that give a shit about something other than sex. Not me. I'm a wham bam, next ma'am kind of guy. So, now that we got the auction out of the way, I think it's time to dive into the fun and tell you about my Wednesday girl... Michele.
Now, coming off the trauma of my first two dates, I wasn't about to let this woman get the upper hand. I had everything planned out perfectly. She'd meet me at the club, I'd fuck her in my bed, then she'd leave. It was the perfect set up. Only... when Michele arrived, she didn't come alone. She brought... well... a fucking mini leopard, I shit you not. She had that thing on a leash and everything.
"Are you Michele?" I asked her, eyeing her furry companion that pranced around like it owned the place. Michele was a beautiful girl with her bright green eyes and wide smile. Her hair was this pretty reddish brown, pulled half way up and had a few curls that created waves all over her head. I was definitely going to have fun playing with her. The cat... I wasn't sure about.
"I am," she said with a smile. "And this handsome guy is my Savannah cat, Loki. Isn't he beautiful?"
"Why the fuck did you bring a cat on our date?"
She motioned to the little vest she had on the animal. "He's my emotional support animal."
"Seriously?"
She looked at me in disbelief. Her tone dropping to pure annoyance. "Yes! Cats can be support animals, too." She rolled her eyes. "If you can't accept me and my cat, I'll go home..."
I probably could find a sweet butt inside to fuck, but I was getting bored with my normal pussy. I wanted something different--someone like her.
"It's fine. Everything is fine. I like cats. I like dogs better, but cats are cool, I guess. They remind me of little mob bosses."
"Yes, Loki, definitely rules the roost. He has his own bedroom and everything. I named him after Loki in the Marvel movies. You know, you kinda look like Thor, has anyone ever told you that before?"
This chick was talking to much for my liking. I needed this shit to move faster. "Sure, and I'm about to show you my hammer. I grabbed my jeans, smiling evilly. Remember, you did bid on my cock."
"I remember. Is it okay if we keep Loki in the room with us? I never go anywhere without him. I promise he won't get involved. He's a very timid cat."
"Sure, I don't give a shit if you bring your pussy in the room, as long as your other pussy comes along with it." I gave her a knowing wink that caused her to blush.
She followed me into the clubhouse. People eyed her and her cat. The women who hung around the clubhouse, oohed and awed over his sleek spotted coat, and perfect features. Then men all looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. The cat should've been a warning sign. But you know me... I love a challenge.
As Michele showed off her pet, Ice pulled me aside, smirking when he couldn't hide his smile any longer. "You take threesomes to a whole new level my friend. One pussy just ain't enough for you. Now you had to go out and find the real thing to smash?"
"Fuck off, Ice. It's her emotional support animal. Besides, he's a boy cat."
He laughed. "So, you're saying if it was a girl cat, you'd be down to smash it?"
"Fuck you," I growled, ready to pummel him.
He held up his hands in mock defeat. "I'm kidding, Switch. But seriously, have fun with that. It looks like there will be another hilarious sex story for you to tell when you're done. I'll be waiting for that moment when you come out of your room screaming."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because your track record with women lately has left your ego bruised, your life threatened, and created fears inside of you that you never had before."
"I fucking hate gnomes and demon dolls. Sue me." Yeah, I told Ice all about my last two encounters. He found it funny as hell. I told him the next time he laughed, I was shoving a gnome up his ass. to see how much he liked it.
"Only you, my friend. Good luck, May the odds be ever in your favor." He can go fuck himself with that Hunger Games bullshit. The odds were always in my favor when it came to sex. Yeah, my encounters might be a little unorthodox, but I always get laid, and that's all that matters.
"Ready?" Michele asked, pulling her cat behind her.
"Sure, honey. I'm always ready to fuck."
She followed me into the room, unhooking the cat's leash the second we were behind a closed door. Loki took the opportunity to prowl around my room, hopping on my bed, then onto my dresser where he proceeded to knock shit off of it.
"Oh, Loki, you're such a silly kitty," she murmured as the little shit knocked over a full can of beer. I used a dirty shirt to sop up the spilled drink, before turning to her.
"Before I forget, this is for you." I handed her my third gas station rose, a midnight blue one. This one was not a thong.
"Oh, thank you." She eyed it with great scrutiny. "Is it made out of lace?"
"Yes. Do you like it?"
"I'm allergic to lace."
"Oh," I frowned. Guess I won't be seeing panty number three on my Wednesday girl.
"I'll put it in a vase, it will look pretty on my counter."
"Sure, whatever. Can we fuck now?" I didn't care where she put the stupid rose. I just wanted to stick my cock inside of her.
She frowned. "Aren't you going to woo me first?"
I shrugged off my cut, before laying it carefully on my dresser. "Do I really look like the kind of guy that fucking woos anyone?"
She shrugged. I've met some sweet bikers before. Ones that steal your heart and never let go."
I laughed. "What kind of pansy-ass bikers have you met lately?"
"The ones in my books. I love to read."
"Honey, that's fiction. Real bikers aren't sweet and adoring. They're mean and aggressive and ready to fuck whenever, wherever. Like me right now." I took a step toward her, as she took a cautious step back.
"Word around town is that you're really good at fucking. I hear many good things about the notorious Switchblade, VP of the Devil's Armada. Is it true what they say? Are you the best fuck in town?"
Her dirty words had my cock hard and ready. I loved it when a girl could swear like a sailor and dish out what I had to offer.
"Absofuckinglutely. I'm the fucking best at what I do, and if you play your cards right, I could be doing you right now."
I took an aggressive step towards her, backing her body up to the bed. Her green eyes blinked as I brought that first kiss down on her lips, my tongue diving into the deep crevice of her mouth, rolling and playing with her tongue.
She moaned against my lips, as my hand snaked into her shirt, feeling up her breasts over her bra. Without any prompting, she lifted her arms, allowing me to remove her shirt before I threw it on the floor.
"You're fucking hot as hell," I told her, unhooking her bra for emphasis.
Her hands trailed up my torso, removing my black undershirt as she dragged her nails across my chest.
"MEOW!" she purred, as her nails dug in, creating claw marks across my pecs.
"Did you just meow at me?"
She ignored my comment, grabbing the front of my jeans as she loosened my belt and dropped my pants and boxers to the floor. Her eyes dropped down to my bulging erection and did something I never expected. She stared at my dick and fucking smirked, before saying, "Thor's hammer was so much bigger."
"Seriously?"
"Shhh," she whispered. Trailing her lips down my chest until her mouth engulfed my cock. I guess I'll let her little dig slide. I may not have the biggest cock in town, but I could fucking swing my hammer with the best of them.
I clawed my way into her hair, guiding her head up and down my cock. It was fucking glorious the things she did with her mouth. This chick was good at sucking my dick. Perfect suction, lips that could put Hoover vacuums to shame, and these sinful eyes that seemed to smirk as she sucked me off.
"Damn you're really good at that," I complimented.
She guided my body over to the bed, continuing to bathe my cock in her mouth of sin. I was so into the moment that I didn't even realize her cat was on the bed until I felt its paw smack my face. The foreign feeling made my eyes burst open and I came face to face with her little leopard, just as it bitch slapped me again. Little fucker was asking for an ass whoopin.
"Um, do you think we can put your cat in the closet or something? At least until we're done here. He keeps smacking me."
She laughed around my cock, the vibrations doing things to my balls I didn't know were possible. "He wants you to pet him."
"I'm not petting a cat while I get my dick sucked. Sorry." I pushed her cat off the bed. Hoping to God that it would be the only time I had to deal with it.
I should've known better. I should've known Quinn fucking hates me and this cat was her evil way of fucking with me again.
Michele pulled up, seductively dragging her skirt down her curvy hips, showing off the crotchless blue panties she had underneath.
I was fucking turned on as hell until I felt it. The muzzle of a cat, too close to my twig and berries. I looked down just in time to see the cat sniff my cock. I swear to all that is holy, that fucking cat's head turned to me slowly, wrinkled his nose in disgust, sniffed my cock one last time, then sneezed all over it. The instant wetness I felt from that sneeze, is something I will never forget.
Yup, I officially had cat snot all over my cock.
"Oh, goodness, Loki. Do you have a cold?"
"Did your cat just sneeze on my dick?"
"He must have a cold." She quickly put the cat on the ground, grabbed a shirt, wiped off the offending sneeze residue before staring at me strangely.
"What?"
"Do you have a condom?"
"You still want to fuck me after you cat sneezed all over my genitals?"
"Well, if I'm going to find out if you're really the best fuck in town, I have to try you out, right?"
"Right," I agreed, reaching up into my headboard to grab one of the condoms I left there for emergencies. I could put the snot incident behind me. I needed to fuck, Sweet Butts. I was desperate.
Michele watched me with piqued interest as I tugged the condom on, stifling some giggles when I was through.
"What?" I asked, afraid to look down.
"I never thought Thor's hammer could look so much like a Smurf."
Fuck my life. When was I going to be rid of these damned cursed condoms. First I was Freddy Kruger's saran-wrapped victim, then I was Barney's purple cock, now I'm a fucking smurf? What the fuck was next?
Nope, Sweet Butts, I wasn't taking it any longer. I was going to take control of this situation right here right now. I stood up, towering over her with a predatory look in my eye.
"I don't give a fuck what color my cock is. I promised you Thor's fucking hammer, and I'm going to give it to you."
I gripped her waist, pulling her into me as my lips crashed down on hers. As she gave into my seductive kiss, my hands went around her ass, lifting her up until I pile-drove her into my bed spread, taking control of the mood.
She moaned as I kissed my way down her neck, stopping at her breasts so I could pull her nipple into my mouth, teasing it with my tongue. Her head dipped back, just as my cock slid into her.
She hissed, a content smile on her face as I raised her leg, wrapping it around my waist before starting to move inside of her.
"Fuck," she growled, as my cock moved faster. I watched her chest bounce with every aggressive thrust, our eyes meeting in sexual satisfaction. The way Michele's pussy clamped around my cock had me so hard and seeing stars that made me feel like blacking out. I had one hand on the bed, my arm holding me up as I stroked in out of her, the other dug into her hip, aiding my thrusts as I took control. I wasn't going to let another woman get the best of me. Not when I knew who the fucking Alpha was in this room.
"Faster," she moaned. "Fuck me, faster."
My body erupted into a series of hard thrusts, pummeling her pussy with the speed of a fucking jack hammer. She wanted Thor's hammer, and I was giving her exactly what she was asking for. Nailing her with the best of all my abilities.
As we fucked, I fluctuated from kissing her lips, to playing with her tits, making sure my strokes hit ever bundle of nerves in her pussy. When I'm fucking, I don't pay attention to what's going on around me.
I zone out. I have my head focused on only one thing. In that moment, my only job was to get Michele and myself off, and with the way her moans were getting louder and turning into screams, I knew I almost had her there.
"You like my hammer, don't you?" I asked, taking her nipple between my teeth for a playful nibble.
"Yess," she hissed out, her body arching into my thrust, pelvis meeting mine for every glorious hit.
"Who's the alpha in this room?" I asked her, watching her mouth open and close wordlessly, as I fucked the shit out of her pussy.
"You are," she breathed.
"That's right, Michele. I'm the alpha... cat? What the actual fuck?" I looked down, just now feeling the little fuckers teeth and claws sink into my arm that was holding me upright. It didn't exactly hurt, but what I saw what the cat's hind end was doing, I fucking panicked.
Michele looked over, her words coming out in a breathless whisper. "Oh,I forgot to tell you, Loki likes to hump. Don't worry about it keep going."
This chick actually thought it was okay to have her cat hump my arm while I fucked her. I don't make this shit up people. The worst part of all of it was that little Loki was fucking dug in, claws and teeth piercing my flesh as he molested my arm matching my thrusts and even putting them to shame.
"Nope, not doing it. Get it off me."
"Loki, down."
The cat fucking hissed at her. Hissed!
"Loki, we're not doing this again."
I looked at Michele with strange fascination. "Wait? This isn't the first time your cat has humped someone while you were fucking?"
She looked away sheepishly. "He has a humping addiction. It is only triggered when I'm having sex. I've tried to break him of that habit, but it seems to ruin the mood."
"For you? Or for him?"
"For me mostly. Somehow he always gets off."
Yup, nope. Not happening people. I didn't care if this was the horniest cat in Garter County, there was no way in hell I was letting it fuck my arm and shoot its little cat jizz all over me while I fucked his master. Plus, you all don't want to see that shit. That's ... shudders... nope you don't want to see it.
I did what any self-respecting biker would do in that situation. I fucking hopped off Michele, and started shaking that horny little bastard off my arm. The second I stood up, the cat's claws dug in even more, hanging onto my arm as much as it could.
"Get your fucking cat off me."
"I can't, not until ..."
"Don't you dare finish that sentence! I'm getting this damn cat off me, before he tries to impregnate my bicep." I took off running, I didn't care who the fuck saw me buckass naked, This cat had to go. Thankfully, I ran into Ice in the hallway, who took one look at me and the cat attached to my bicep, and dropped to his knees because he was laughing so fucking hard.
"What is this shit?" he wheezed, unable to contain his giggles.
"Just help me get the little shit off me, would ya?"
Ice grabbed the cat, doing his best to pull the little fucker off, but Loki was determined, hugging my arm like a leg-warmer in a 80's music video or something.
"Ow, stop pulling."
"What the fuck do you expect me to do, Switch? You got a fucking mini leopard attached to your arm, you're fucking naked, and your dick looks like a goddamn smurf."
"Fuck you, it's all I had, no thanks to you. Just help me."
It what can only be called a gift from God, Ice somehow managed to get the cat off my arm, an arm that now had cat scratches and bites all over it. He carefully placed the cat on the ground, but the damage was done, I was two seconds away from kicking that little shit across the clubhouse like a football.
The second I raised my foot, Michele screamed.
"Don't you dare hurt my cat," she warned.
I turned around to find her fully dressed, eyes narrowed while staring at me with a disgusted glare of disapproval.
"You know, for a man that looks like Thor, fucks like a jackhammer, and can rock a blue cock, you sure know how to disappoint a woman. Come on, Loki. Let's go."
She bent down, picking up her horny cat, not even bothering to look back at me. But her cat did. That little motherfucker winked at me, looking smug as hell as she carted him away.
"Did you seriously just get molested by a cat?" Ice questioned, the wheezing was back again as he collapsed in a fit of chuckles. I socked him the stomach, for good measure. I didn't give a shit if hurt. He wasn't going to let me live this down, but to be honest, Sweet Butts. I don't think I could let myself live this down.
You know that list people sometimes have of things they never knew they were going to do but when they happen, they check them off and try to forget about them? Yeah, this one just made the number one slot on my things I'll never do again list.
Being sexually molested by a cat while fucking.
Yup, that shit ain't never happening again. I'm really starting to regret these chronicles. Pretty sure Quinn has it out for me.
SEND HELP! Or pussy. I'll take both right about now.
Anyways, my Sweet Butts, until tomorrow... let's pray I have a better day.
Always in your dreams.
Switchblade.
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